Everything Matters

As a child I remember thinking the world is so big, one butterfly, one bee, one flower cannot matter. Today I know that value and size are unrelated. I also know that while each little thing matters more than we will ever understand we, as individuals, have little control over many of those things that matter.

So, I frequently wonder about the things that are in our control: how we choose to spend our time and with whom; what we say or do not say to others; whether we make and sustain relationships or let them go; whether we wage war or live peace; whether we stay calm or panic in hard times; whether we differentiate our needs from our wants; whether we give from our small bounty or hoard in case of future need.

Small things make a difference in the long run, if not to the world then to me and the quality of my life. What I really want is a life in which I have some control over myself and what I do and experience. Surprisingly, money does not seem to enter into the equation. My actions and attitudes are what matters. If I want a relationship I have to make the choices that will nourish the relationship for me. I cannot control how others see the relationship but I can choose my response to the relationship.

If I want to live peace then I must do whatever it takes for peace to live in me. Chaos may reign around me but I can choose peace for myself even though no one else around me is making the same choice.

Almost everything we face in life presents us with a choice. I can choose to flow with the movement around me or choose to stand still and protest the movement. The choice is seldom easy. Sometimes the best choice is to hold on, but then sometimes letting go is a better choice. Sometimes holding on for awhile then letting go is the best choice. Each life is different, each person is different. Each event makes different demands on us. The only thing that remains is our willingness to adapt: to change our behaviors and our attitudes in response to the events impacting our lives.

An NPR report on living during the Great Depression included the story of a woman who remembered when her father lost his job and could not find another one. Her parents loaded as many of their possessions as they could into the family car and drove across the country to live with extended family. Her parents must have mourned the loss of their home and all they had worked for because we humans always mourn our losses. But they also took action: banding together with family to survive. Their material losses were large, but their relationships helped them to survive. Was it easy to leave everything? No. But they made a choice, took action and survived. No small thing in very hard times.